If I Wrote The Budget


I would cut funding for the arts completely and immediately.
There is now a bill being pushed to cut funding for the Arts by $20 Million. Liberals are weeping and gnashing their teeth over this vital part of the American Budget. How will poor starving artists get the help they need to perfect their art? They contribute so much to the beauty of life. How else will the ballet and opera houses stay open?

I believe that this is far too small a cut. Funding for the arts should be cut out completely.

OK… so you want to be an artist but you don’t really have any talent (and there are MANY no-talent artists out there). Maybe you graduate from school and want to devote all your efforts to your art, but your parents don’t want you freeloading off them while you explore your inner self and try to express it in sculpture. Maybe you have to get a job for a while to afford a place to stay (or pay to flop on the sofa of a sympathetic friend) and work on your sculptures in your spare time. Your talent, however is minimal and no one wants to pay for your efforts.

Another no-talent friend tells you about how you can get a grant from Uncle Sugar to work on your dream of being an “artist”. You put in your paperwork and eventually get your grant along with maybe a one year time limit to show your stuff. Being the no-talent knucklehead you are, you party and get stoned with your “fellow artists” while the clock is ticking. You poke around at a few ideas, change your medium a couple times, give up for a while and hang with your unemployed friends. At about the eleven month mark you realize you don’t have a sculpture and you’ll have to give back the money if you don’t produce. You panic and start throwing junk together, welding different shaped metal pieces onto other different shaped metal pieces. You end up, in the nick of time, with something that looks like a transformer had an abortion.

I never saw the Transformer movies

In public squares and public parks… Is that a flea?

The government representative shows up to see the results of your year of artistry. “Interesting,” she says. “What is it?” You respond with, “It is the representation of the post-modern man struggling with his inner Neanderthal and the resulting conflict with the aura of the cosmos.” or some such non-sense. Being the understanding liberal she is, she says,”Yes. I see it now. You are truly an artist!” Your dream has come true, someone called you an artist. The government lady calls for the truck and they take your masterpiece away. You now have justification and the American people now have a pile of crap welded together for their tax dollars.


Could you honestly name and describe what these are?

Drive into most major cities and you will have no problem finding the government buildings. They are ones with hideous statues out in front of them. The American people are the victims of your dream and they have to pay for years to come by seeing your “Art” whenever they pass a government building.

Bottom line; If no one wants to buy your statue, you are not an artist. If no one wants to pay to see your “Interpretive Dance” You are not an artist. If you cover a canvas with 2 or 3 stripes of different colors and the government had to pay for it, you are not an artist. (Oh, yes. Not just the ugly statues outside, but the mindless paintings you see inside as well) If you have been in these buildings, mostly in major cities, you have seen what I’m talking about.


Slapped these together pretty quickly

If no one wants to pay for your art, stop wasting tax payers money and get yourself an honest job. You are a parasite, a boil on the butt of honest working Americans. If this hurts your feelings, Tough!

Your tax dollars probably paid for this… Enjoy!

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